The Institution of Love

March 5th, 2009

This is just so self-explanatory…

Re: Tennessean article, “Tennessee Bill Would Ban Adoptions by Unwed Couples” by Janelle Ross (3/2/09)

To the Editor,

I don’t live in Tennessee, so my observations may not be of interest to your paper. However, I worked in special education for 25 years in New York City and witnessed some of the worst things that can happen to children.

Life in state-run group settings was preferable to the tragedies which preceded such placements. Still, it couldn’t make the children feel wanted when all around them were being paid to offer their attentions in small doses. There was precious little in the way of love or reassurance provided in the small hours of the night, when abandonment and worse were re-enacted in the nightmares of our smallest citizens.

In this society, we often make our decisions based upon what makes (or saves) the most dollars and cents. So far, that doesn’t seem to have worked very well for our economic or emotional stability. This article reported that is cheaper to place a child in an adoptive home, versus an institutional environment. That’s nice.

Still, I would be much more encouraged about the future of our society if we were content to place every child with least one loving, parental figure. Two parental figures in a home offers twice the security, guaranteeing continuity of love even in the face of loss should one adult leave the home.

There is no reason to care about the sexual activities taking place between consenting adults behind closed doors. No children are involved. If they were, adult caretakers would be arrested regardless of their sexual orientation towards other adults.

One in every hundred Americans is incarcerated. Should the placement of children in any home where love resides, be outlawed? Perhaps we ought to ask adult residents in some of our other institutions what they think about that question.

Barbara Rubin

Categories: Letters

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